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Ladies and Gentlemen
Listen Up, Listen Uo
I've got a story to share
It starts... NOW.
Many years ago
All up in the mountains of Japan
Lived a monk called Niki Sani
Of the order of the hand
He was BANNED
From the village by the river by the brook because of
ACCUSATIONS
Made long ago that he had took
Something so SACRED from the chief that it could never be got back
They said he'd fucked the big dog's daughter in a sneaky night attack
Of course the story wasn't true but there was evidence all over
Cause her room was filled with origami shaped like Karma Sutra
Sex positions, and each one bore one distinctive author mark
One that proved beyond all doubt that Niki Sani was the shark
One that proved that Niki Sani had put peni in the hole
One that proved that Niki Sani was the one that broke and stole
His daughter' s hymen and virginity that sneaky fuckin monk
It was the Sani family seal and you know that it was sunk
Deep with WAX
Into each piece of paper
Yeah the evidence was damming
That he'd been the one to rape her
And so Sani-san was banned
From the order of the hand
And he didn't say a word when they made him take the stand
Because even though the people in the village thought he'd done it
He knew deep down in his heart which man was the real culprit
You see Sani was an orphan and had been since he was young
But his parents hadn't really died they'd killed a man and run
Sani only had one real memory of his old father
He was handsome and well liked and got on better with his mother
Than with Sani, Sani even felt at times like a mistake
Because his father only ever seemed to show him how to hate
Yes his old father was so angry, only one thing calmed him down
It was doing origami for the order of the hand
So after he was left alone and he was taken into care
Sani took up origami to replace what wasn't there
But for all the many hours in the monastery spent
Folding paper, making shapes and shit, he never could perfect
One THING more complex than any other paper other
And that was the Karma Sutra sex positions that his father
Had been skilled at making when he was a little tiny boy
And so when Sani saw the shapes left in the girl's room with her toys
He knew that only one man from the Sani clan could have been here
And though the world thought he was dead Sani had another idea
And though people thought he'd gone into the mountains to repent
He was actually searching for the place his parents went
Because he knew from all the evidence that they were still alive
And if they were then that meant all the time he thought that they had died
Had been for NOTHING and he'd wasted his whole life an orphaned son
He was going to track them down and tell them just what they had done
But when he finally found them he saw that his father had a gun
Though Niki-Sani, a religious man, had only come to talk
His father couldn't understand and made him slowly slowly walk
Up to the wall and spread his body so that he could pat him down
To check for hidden weapons or explosives but of course he found
Nothing, BUT Still his father didn't trust him even when
Niki Sani started crying and fell to the ground and wept
And though his mother hiding in the shadows tried to reach out to him
Sani saw that she was chained up to the wall, his father's doing
And he turned up to his father and he saw for the first time
Not the heroic stoic figure of his memory but now he saw
A monster, a man with no redeeming qualities
So he signalled to his mother to move on the count of three
He counted down and then jumped up and tried to suffocate his father
But the old man was a fighter and he moved a little faster
Than young Sani had expected, and his father cocked the gun
Put it to the back of Sani's head and said Bye to his son
And as he slowly pulled the trigger, Niki Sani shed a tear
Because his life had been for nothing cause he'd ended up right here
And as the bullet ricoched out of the barrel and exploded
Sending Niki-Sani's brain into the rocks that were eroded
Niki's mother let out one ginormous wail and she was gone
Just the shock of sadness was enough, she'd witnessed her own son
Die before her -- at the hands of a man she'd loved
And so his father was left standing there surrounded by their blood
And Sani's father shed a single tear, the first in his whole life
As he stared down at all the corpses, of his first born son and wife
And then the father turned the barrel of the gun onto himself
And squeezed the trigger, ending everything up on that mountain shelf
And since they were so isolated in that cave up in the clouds
No one ever found their bodies and they never brought them down
And so even though the family died up there in a bloodbath
you know the family were united not in life but in their death
And so the moral of the story of the life of Niki Sani
Yes the moral of the story of the life of Niki Sani
The moral of the story of the life of Niki Sani
Is beware the consequences of a little origami
PEACE.
By Sam Baron
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