Well hello, how’s it going?
What you up to? Be right back (LOL)
WTF
I’m talking to you
Whilst playing whack-a-mole
It’s the internet and you can call me ‘Action Jack’
My poli-cy for friend requests is very simple
[APPROVE SELECTED]
You don’t have to fear
There’s not a chance in hell you’ll be rejected
But I have to warn you that you probably will be subjected
To a never ending stream of bulletins
And within these golden things
You’ll read my inane ramblings
And forward them on to your friends
You’ll comment on my poetry
Don’t you see
You’ve come on board
My train of thought
My stream of consciousness is running out into the world
I’ll make you hurl before I move you
With my childish ode to “Mrs Boob Tube”
And of course her friends “Sexy Chick” and “wampa1”
Their pouting pictures turn me on
And that is why I wrote this song
[because]
We all look better on the internet
The internet
The internet
In real life your kind of ugly
I don’t say that to be mean
You know, it’s just a fact of life
And that your not exactly clean
You’re not too bothered with hygiene
Only what shows up on the screen
In real life you’re never seen
Your social skills like Mr Bean
You know I got a reputation
Can’t be seen to recognise your face,
In real life you’re a disgrace
But I’ll still talk to you on MySpace
Myspace!
Do you remember way back when
Tom was your only friend
And you felt a strong connection
BFF until the end?
His stupid grin and constant messages assured you
He helped you change your profile page to dark blue
And put a video from YouTube
To play automatically
So that all the world could see
Exactly who you want to be
From reading your “About Me”
Section
Your browsing peoples pages with an erection
Trying to think of a good question
To really impress them
How’s it going babe
TTYL
xx
Those are kisses
And they symbolise your friendship
Alphabet affection
You’re now obsessed with infinite dissection
Of the emails in your inbox
You’re synchronising all your clocks
And as if looking for smallpox
To save yourself from any shocks
You devour every inch of her profile
But you’re not a paedophile!
No way!
Your orientation says your gay!
Children?
Not yet but some day!
I like long walks and rolling in the hay
Okay!
I’m into horses
And other bestiality
Message me and then you’ll see
If maybe you’re the one for me
Myspace!
Written by Sam Baron
Performed by Sam Baron and Raph von Blumenthal
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